Art Everyday: weeks 28-37 (pregnancy)

So. I’ve been absent form my blog for quite some time. And now that the following information is public (i.e. Facebook public) knowledge, I get to FINALLY talk about it here. As if the blog post title didn’t give it away…I’m pregnant! Baby number two is on the way and this pregnancy has been…hard. Much harder than my first. Especially the first few months. For the entire first trimester and part of the second, I went through periods of awful depression — on top the extreme exhaustion and nausea that comes along with being pregnant. Even though this pregnancy was absolutely planned and something we very much wanted, but I couldn’t help feeling the way I did. Nothing could make me happy. I had no drive, no motivation. I felt worthless. There was so much bad news in the world happening. I withdrew my self from friends and family. Dark thoughts would cycle through my head. Everything was just a heavy weight on me that seemed impossible to pull my self out from under.

It was a really rough time, to say the least. Hence why I’ve been off the blog. It feels like this pregnancy has been all-consuming and affects every part of my life so it’s hard to talk about anything without bringing it up. That’s why I haven’t been posting. All the feeling-awfulness did not motivate to make art either. Something that once brought me so much joy, I didn’t feel like doing it at all. Slowly, I did start making art again, drawing from my life and using it as a way to express the way I was feeling and eventually got back into the swing of things.  I’m finally ready to share the art that I made over the summer during what I call the “dark ages”. Instead of sharing the pieces chronologically like I normally do, I’ve divided them into themes and will share them over a few separate posts. The first is the reason for this all, the pregnancy theme. 

Before we dig in, I am feeling much better and am getting really excited to meet our newest family member. 

“Tired at Home” | Digital Painting
Tired at Home

“Tired at Work” | Digital Painting

Tired at Work

“I am so tired 2″ | Digital Painting

I am so tired

“Cry” | Digital Painting

Cry

“My Body Hates Me” | Digital Painting

My body hates me

“Butt” | Digital Painting

Butt

“Bump” | Digital Painting

Little bump

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  • It’s ok if your pregnancy is all you want to talk about, and more so if it’s needed to get the blues out of your body and head and heart. Don’t stop posting because it’s not all rainbows. After all, rainbows come after the storm. And being a mama– having that wee babe inside of your body! Omg it is one of your greatest creations ever. It is depressing to not be as active. It is depressing to feel so tired all the time. Pregnancy is hard work. You’re literally making a person. Love, Sunny’s mama

  • Thank you for sharing what you were going through/are going through. Even though challenging times can suck (couldn’t think of a better word) they really do make the goods times even better. I’m amazed at what we all go through and how we end up coming out the other side better people with a better understanding of ourselves and others. Love you!

  • I just wanted to first say congratulations! I know your hubby from high school. You guys have a beautiful growing family and i love looking at all the amazing pictures!
    I too had an extremely rough second pregnancy. Much like what youve described. Though none of ours were planned and weve had five! They were ALL very different but my second one was the worst. For some reason, i suddenly felt like i was going to be an awful mother, because how on earth am i going to love another child as much as i love my first? I dwelled on that thought. It made me anxious and i had horrible reacurring dreams that i kept my second baby in a seperate house and would just show up three times a day to feed it. What in the world?? Those dreams drove me crazy! BUT once i opened up to a coworker about my fear and feelings she told me some (in my opinion) very wise words. She said “oh sara, youre not splitting your love. Your heart just grows bigger. Theres plenty of room for you to love another baby just the same as you love your first.” Those words eased my mind so much. They made me get really excited and on delivery day, she was absolutely correct! I couldn’t believe how much more love i felt and how wonderful that new little perfect baby felt on my skin. It was just as i remembered it when my first baby lay on my chest. Nothing but LOVE.
    Anyways. Thank you for sharing. Not too many women will talk about it. I hope you continue tobget more and more excited and i cant wait to see if you guys have a boy or girl!

    • I keep thinking the same thing about not having enough love, but that all my love energy will go to the kiddos and there won’t be anymore left for my husband or friends and family! 🙁 I’m also afraid that I might get postpartum depression this time, since I am dealing with depression now. I hope I don’t my early weeks with my son were some of the best.

  • Sorry to hear you’ve been having a bad time these hormones are a pain. Glad you are feeling better now. Love and hugs to you all

  • My pregnancy with my daughter was HORRIBLE to say the least. I had morning sickness all day everyday for 8 months. I lost 30 lbs being prego and sick! I used to tell my baby girl in utero, your giving me a horrible pregnancy because your going to have an awesome childhood, and that made be able to cope. Thinking I was tricking her into 8 months of horribleness for a childhood where she would be a breeze. (She totally hasn’t lived up to her end of the bargin!)

    I was lucky enough that Kate Middleton was similarly going through it so most everyone gave me a pass. She came early and then everything went back to normal…. but man, those 8 months….. ooooweeee I wouldn’t wish them on anyone.

    It gets better momma bear. ❤️